It's not easy...actually it's harder than experiencing childbirth, terrible twos and teenagers all put together. But we do it. It's a challenge to say the least to expect two people who have been raised in two different families, sometimes including different religions, values, traditions, customs...and a whole list of differences to live together in harmony forever. Okay, maybe not every minute is in harmony...that is unrealistic, but forever is doable.
Be Friends First. The person you marry should be your best friend. This is the person who brings out the best in you and you do the same for him/her. This is the person who makes you laugh...a lot. The person who knows when you need a hug. The person who knows when to offer advice, suggestions, criticisms ..or not. This is the person you look forward to spending time with...hours, days...years.
We connect with our souls...ie soulmate. Your soul is inside...it's your essence. Your soul embodies love. When your soul meets it's mate it is not hindered by any physical boundaries. Your soul only recognizes its mate by a love connection. Therefore, your soul knows no bias... it is not subject to race, religion, gender or any other 'rules' mankind has determined.
Compromise works wonders. It is not always easy...but it is necessary. As are the words "I'm sorry." It's amazing how those two words can heal.
And finally....if a marriage is broken....fix it. In a disposable world people think the can just toss away a marriage and get a new one....it works for appliances maybe, but should not be applied to marriages. If a marriage needs repair...work together to repair it. Remember why you married in the first place. Use a photo album to recall happier times, visit places where you shared happy times, go on long walks together holding hands. Dance a lovely slow dance.
The death of a marriage hurts more than two people.
After 43 years, my DH and I are still together....I'm happy writing, he's happy fishing. Guess what? I can bring a pencil and spiral notebook on a boat. It works.
My Mom and Dad celebrated 65 years together. Dad loves driving his Model T Ford....Mom loves sitting next to him. The hold hands while watching TV. They kiss each morning and when they say goodnight. They laugh together. They are each others best friend.
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About Me
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- ALee Drake
- My first published romance, Thistle Dew, was inspired by the daily subtle signs my Bestemor(grandma) sends to me to reassure me that she is still present in my life. The comfort her spiritual presence offers me encouraged me to share with others the idea to become aware of little occurances that may very well be signs that because someone that loves you has passed on, they are still with you, protecting you, guiding you, loving you.
4 comments:
I enjoyed your blog. I think you hit it square on. So much truth that our younger generation needs to know!
Thanks, Bill. I can always count on you to read my blog and comment. Sometimes it gets so lonely ....
What a wonderful bit of advice. It's a shame, in this 'disposable' world, when no amount of work can keep together what once was. You are a wonderful example of staying the same course you start out on. Thank you for the hope you inspire. May the longer marriages become the norm soon.
It's definitely hard work keeping it together. People change and not always for the better and sometimes they become someone it's hard to respect. I think if a marriage starts out in true love...that never dies...but respect can die.
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